The transition phase I am in right now is simultaneously frustrating and rewarding. After another interview for a job that I can't take due to low pay and no benefits, I am stressed to my breaking point. It is difficult for me because I don't want to sell insurance or work in retail or manage a studio, I want to write. I want to edit. I want to work in publishing. My life circles around reading and writing. It features English and always has. I want to be a part of the writing world, now more than ever. Unfortunately there is this little thing that the real world likes to term "experience." It's a rotten word really because those of us who want to start in a career can't gain it until we are granted the chance, but those employers out there aren't looking for entry level, they want seasoned professionals. See the disastrous cycle I have become a part of?
I like to write, I love to journal, I'm emotional and I like expressing it through words. I wish I could summarize myself and my abilities on a one page resume, but the truth is that I can't. My resume reads of my "experience" in the fields that I have been pushed into due to needing a salary, a means to an end. The only experience I have that I truly count useful I developed in high school and it is no longer applicable to the direction in which I want my life to go. Maybe I am meant to manage my own small business or just write the novel that I keep saying I will sit down and conceptualize. The truth is I would love to have a small office to myself, books lining the walls, papers strewn across the desk, but a smile on my face as I discuss a book deal or help future clients. Now if only I could find that "in."
I know that I just need to keep trying, and I haven't given up. Even if it means I have to settle in the meantime, I can still keep my sight set on the future. I can't lose the plans I have. I hope in writing them down, in making them somewhat public, I will stick to that promise. I have the support I need, I have motivation, now I just need a chance. All I'm asking for is one chance to prove myself. I hope I will be granted that wish soon.