Monday, May 21, 2012

Rainy Day Revelations

If there is one thing that makes me reminiscent it is the rain. Rain is one of those sounds I can't resist falling in love with each time I hear it. I can hear the curtain of droplets falling on the porch outside, teardrops staining the glass door, catching in the screen. The sound has the ability to either put you in the worst of moods or make you reminiscent, staring out the window with a cup of tea and a head full of thoughts, words unspoken, past events forgotten until now. While these sessions of reminiscing have the potential to be dangerous, I believe that they are quite necessary. They allow me to sit and have a conversation with myself. When was the last time you can say you've done that? Talked to yourself? It's vital, it really is. 
I think of all the things I've done, the people I've known, the friends I no longer talk to, the events that have led me to where I'm sitting right now on the bedroom floor listening to the rain hit the porch. The road has been a little rocky but in no way disappointing. We are shaped by every action we take, every word we say, every decision we make. I'm not proud of all the decisions that I have made, but if I hadn't made those mistakes I might not be in this place of knowledge today. I still have so much to learn, but I've come a long way from a few years ago. I'm happy. I can say that I am happy. I have something to be thankful for every day and it's because I choose to be. I have surrounded myself with people who care and for whom I care very much. 
I used to think I could change people. If I've learned one thing, it's that people don't change. If you want someone in your life you have to be willing to accept the person that he/she is. It's no one's job to change another human being. We change of our own accord, if we want to, if we will it. We don't change for others, we change for ourselves. Other people may give us the strength to make change but unless we take the first step, it's of no use. 
Things might not be ideal, things will never be perfect, but if we are happy overall then everything else doesn't seem as bad. There is no set definition of happiness- not wealth, not the perfect job, not true love. Every one of us defines what it means to be happy. I challenge myself in that definition every day as I learn something new about my character. I challenge you to do the same. Fill your life with people and things that make you smile. If someone is bringing you down constantly, rethink that person's presence in your life. If your job is making you drag your feet daily, monthly, yearly, consider a career change. Cutting people out and quitting your job aren't ideal, I realize this, but just think about it. Once you start to put yourself first, everything else falls into place. I don't have everything figured out yet but I'm starting to and it gets better. I promise.

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