Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Nostalgic Rain

I often find inspiration in the strangest of places. It is only eleven o'clock in the morning and already my emotions have flip-flopped several times today. I now sit in the laundromat, a diverse and unassuming place in which to find the urge to write. Sitting here sweating from the heat radiating off the dryers, I sit fending off the stray fly and curious passerby as I write here for the first time in a month. I can't believe that I have taken such a long hiatus from this blog. I have gotten so wrapped up in my life lately (which isn't necessarily a bad thing) that I have neglected the few online readers I might have. If I'm honest with you, I'm not even sure in which direction this post is headed today, but I will continue to make progress in whichever path my thoughts may choose to take me. 
I woke up this morning to the beautiful sound of rain on the windows. It was beating against the glass panes as I lay wrapped up in the blankets letting sleep gradually wear away from me. I thought it had to be at least ten o'clock since I had been lounging forever listening to the lulling sound that only the rain makes so well. It was only slightly after eight, so I languidly made my way to the desk by the windows. After pulling back one shade briefly, I decided to keep it drawn as I walked to the kitchen to reheat a cup of coffee. It was a silently gratifying experience as I made my way through the small apartment, the sound of rain surrounding me while I remained untouched by water and the outside world. As I sat down to journal, my mind raced in various different directions. The rain has the ability to affect me like that. I will wake up in one state of mind, thinking of one person or experience and then it brings me to another time spontaneously. It brings the nostalgia every time, and sitting at the desk staring at the shades, it brought me through countless memories. 
I don't know why or how it does it, but the rain can bring people and places back more clearly than if I sat in the dark and just used my imagination. It's evokes songs into my memory that I haven't heard in ages and never fail to associate with those I've lost in some way or other. So here I sit sweating in the man-made heat of the laundromat nostalgic for different days. Now I'm not saying that the present isn't a happy time or that the past was in some way monumentally better, but days like these make the past loom so close that I fear I may slip back into it. Nostalgia is the hardest feeling to explain, but I felt that I must give it a try, knowing that I will never give it complete justice. 
I honestly believe that days like this are necessary to living, to being, to feeling. It is most definitely an effective way to keep me in tune with my emotions, not that it takes much since I am an extremely emotional being. Another soul in need of wasting time has joined me at my small table, attached to his laptop as well. I would normally go on a rant about society being so connected to technology 24/7 that we are no longer in tune with each other and personal relationships, but I won't, not this time. Sharing my space with someone else involved in his own life is comforting in a way, companionship found in solitude. And so I have graced you with my first post for the month of September. I hope to continue writing more regularly, even my journal has been neglected lately, which never bodes well for my emotional well-being. Whether it is sun or shine that keeps you company today, I hope it evokes a good mood, or a reminiscent one if you are so inclined.

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